[Scarlet] Touhou Writing Competition II- Start!

Nice idea, concept and attempt in introspection. I like how two characters interacted and Alice's inner conflicts. Took a few reads because Mystic Square reference flew pretty much over my head. The link between PC-98 Alice and Windows Alice is nice.

Could stand to use more in-depth description in both sides' thoughts though, specifically and generally. Probably highlight the clashing in thoughts and personalities between the two characters.

Give this a bit more description and proofreading and this has a lot of potential.

I happen to dislike English poems and also am not sure how to judge them. The piece feels straight-forward and clear, and it managed to create a scenery. Doesn't have much plot otherwise, and as much as an angst-genre lover as I am, I don't like how it just "gets picked up" and ended abruptly there.

Writing a poem is tough and I can't do it at all, prop for that. Not a hard to read entry, but could use more work expanding the piece.

I need to get the Reisen of Inaba of the Moon and Inaba of the Earth out of my mind

Short and crisp. I admit I have a thing for emotional flowery thingy, but the letter is for Reisen's friends on the moon, and how crisp the piece was does feel like closure to her internal conflict. It feels calm and strong, like a final attempt to reassure herself and put an end to the past.

While I like the idea of expanding on Reisen's thoughts as she came to Earth, a permanent and big choice as that, I do wonder if Reisen will run away at the first exposure to freedom and choice like that simply because she was deprived of choices before. I think to make a big, huge, life-changing, irreversible and potentially led to hellish consequences (especially in the moon rabbits' minds, who were taught that Earth is filthy), she would need to be pretty much dissatisfied with her life on the Moon. I don't think it's irrational that she ran away, just that she might need more of fuel.

Clean, simple, short. Probably intended to be humor, or not much effort put into it. The idea of Yukari and Reimu being tricked and the story branching from IN is pretty funny and refreshing.

While the plot is fine, but the mass use of dialogues serves little to fulfilling it. It feels like the dialogues are only written out to move the plot, and it doesn't have much except from "here's what happened". Feels like a meager piece written with little care and more rush. Could use more description. Not a bad entry, just feels kinda lazy.

A point Catnini pointed out is that Yukari probably will not be tricked that easily, especially by the straight-laced Keine of all people.

This one has exactly one scene- one moment. This piece is a fine premise/synopsis to a full-blown story, that's about it. The reading experience, per se, was not painful, it's just that there is nothing more to it that I can give score for.

Not much about skills to judge. Try writing more next time. Think of the past, the present, the future, the decision's consequences, and overall the character's situation and feeling. May as well describe the scenery, put some character interactions in it. There's a lot to write about, so write them down! Read more stories if you need to.

The poem at the beginning was nice. Nothing of note about the writing, though some commmas could be put in, as well as some descriptions. Dialogues feel a bit stiff.

The plot, though, I have no idea what happened that led to Miko having to make such a choice. Without a setting, the decision wasn't made clear, so it feels weird that Miko chose to save Byakuren instead of saving Futo or killing Seiga. It's said that the reason was the lack of desire coming from Byakuren, though why that swayed Miko's decision was unknown either. Could use a lot more explanation and setup.

Piece has potential and can be made into a deep, refreshing story.

Incorporates the flaws of the three entries above this. It didn't have a setting, so it's unclear who is talking, what is going on, what that one was talking about, etc. How the story started was abrupt, jumping in the whining and crying. For an emotional story, it could use more description, on the characters' feelings and their actions as well, don't just rely on dialogues. And try to separate between the two girls, because there's some vagueness in who the mentioned "she" and "her" is, sometimes.

The change in the feeling of the depressed girl was too abrupt, it feels a bit rushed. This one needs expansion in both the plot and the characters. Try to write more and invest in descriptions.

A monologue of whom I assumed to be Ran. The introspection gave nice and clear understanding to the character's mind, and overall it's a smooth, interesting train of thoughts of someone so intent on becoming better. Well-written overall.

Only grip is that it did not set enough of a setting in the beginning, so it became slightly frustrating to read while not really understanding what is going on in the first read-through. The end was abrupt though, could use more settings or explanation in the plot, I think.

Nice concept. Great, detailed scenery description while not making the piece unnecessarily flowery. Interactions between Yukari and Ran are fine and cute, and the concept of building the Barrier with Tenma and other sages is nice as well, as I like how it's made to be a group effort. The chant was awesome. At some points it feels like "narrating" with the paragraphs and lack of introspection/characters not named Yukari and Ran's interactions, and the dragon appearance could use more of a climax, though I could let it pass as a story retold by Ran to Meiling, and thus no longer felt super climax-y when it's told. More dialogues could be used to balance it out a bit, I guess.

Anyway, the way I interpret Yukari's action was that she somehow gapped her heart away- and losing her love in the process, so Ran no longer was her most loved/most precious thing, which led to Ran's laments at the end as "we lost our love and I can't be at peace because it's because of me that she lost her love". Dunno what the thing she actually gave the Dragon is in that case though. I do like the monologue at the end, it has some bitter humor with it.

Okay first person again. You have improved in using this, but the action scenes still feel a bit distant and draggy, like watching a slow-mo. The feeling of diary/report is still there, which is kinda hard to avoid using First Person, past tense. Dialogues were okay, though scenes pretty much happen without pretext. The climax of the story, which is Sakuya meeting Remilia was rushed and a bit neglected.

Writing quality is overall solid, concept, plot and description is fine. I still strongly recommend trying out Third Person, what is your love affair against it? ;_;

Dear Maiden of the Hakurei Shrine,
I hope that I haven’t troubled you; but there is something on my mind. Do you remember that time we first met, back when you were raising hell in my well maintained house?
I sure hope that you do; because I would love to propose a question to you.
When the fabled insanity inducing moon hovers in the sky and gazes down. I kindly invite you to come down to my humble home down at the ancient city.
You may be asking yourself, why do I want to talk to you?
I don’t want to reveal it to you; but you will find out if you come down to visit.
I hope you take my offer,
Sincerely,
Satori Komeiji

A month passed since the cryptic and welcoming letter arrived on the doorstep by an unknown person. The shrine maiden was tempted just to throw the letter away and forget about it. Curiosity and the temptation that the withdrawn Satori would tell her something useful.

The shrine maiden looked up towards the heaven, a large cloud had devoured half of the silver disc in the sky, the maiden thought back for a second; she was trying to remember what phase of the moon

Just gotta think what the moon was like before that giant cloud appeared.

As if by magic, the cloud faded into non existence, the large silver disc in the sky washed the shrine in white, it was a beautiful sight for her.

______________________________________________________________________________

A large mansion dominated the landscape of the ancient city; a short mistress stood at one of the windows and she wore a blue shirt with a pink skirt. Flowers hung on the bottom of the dress and she wore a small headband with a tiny heart on it. She gazed her sight to the populace crowding the streets below. She calmly held a tea cup in her hands as she sipped away.
In her small bedroom, there was the bare essentials with a small bed that leaned against the wall, the covers were neatly folded into a square. On the other side of the window, there was a large bookcase where dusty books laid, never to be read again.

“I wonder when my guest will arrive…” The girl muttered with no emotion in her voice as she turned on her heels pacing towards the door. She held a straight gaze as three violent knocks on the front door, a tiny smile perked up on her face as she walked awkwardly to the door.

A fourth violent bang on the door was heard as the girl dragged her hand out and turned the handle slowly, revealing a girl wearing miko clothing, she had brown long flowing hair and a giant red ribbon. She held a serious look on her face.

“Why so paranoid?” The Satori chuckled as she stood to the side, allowing her guest to stroll into the building, the maiden kept on gazing around her impressive manor. Satori guided her guest into a room on the ground floor where two chairs were tucked in. Satori and Reimu stood behind their chairs and then Satori nodded.

“I can see the doubt in your mind, something troubles you…” Satori chirped coldly as she bent down and sat down in her chair, picking up the teapot and pouring the piping hot tea in her cup.

“There’s nothing wrong!” Reimu yelled furiously as she sat down suddenly, grabbing an empty cup and Satori calmly poured tea into her cup. The two intently gazed at each other as Reimu aggressively threw her cup towards her mouth.

“I hope she didn’t put poison in her tea, that is what you think.” Satori spoke out loud Reimu’s thoughts as she brought the room to a complete halt. “And by the way, there is no poison in my tea.”

The room entered a phase of awkward silence as Satori continued to sip her tea. “So, what did you want to talk about?” Reimu raised her voice as Satori’s eyebrows raised up, behind her cup, she smiled softly.

“I heard recently that were was a competition between religion.” She spoke with a softer tone as she began to peer into Reimu’s mind.
“I see the newly awakened Prince; the monk who was sealed away… And I see-” She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw a satori much like herself, but she was holding a mask of sorts, and then the cup dropped to the floor and shattered on the floor.

“Is everything alright?” Reimu stood up suddenly, Satori began to lose colour in her fair skin as she too shot up from her chair and she held her head.

“Everything is fine Miss Hakurei… Please excuse me…”
The satori wobbled her way out of the room; leaving the door wide open as she rushed over to her secluded bedroom on the first floor. As she walked up, the door swung open up to her room.

“W-wha?” The Satori tiptoed to her door; peering inside the room. There was nothing strange inside her room, she sighed and laid down on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. She could hear nothing but the footsteps of Reimu walking around, most likely heading to the gigantic door to leave.

And she began to drift off into a world of sleep.
“Sister! Sister!” The voice broke her peaceful sleep; her eyes refused to open, but the voice repeated.
“Sister! Sister!”

“Sister! Come on!”

“Alright… I’ll wake up Koishi…” Satori muttered still caught in her trance of sleep, but then her eyes opened widely as she felt the embrace of her younger sister hugging her. She smiled as she slowly wrapped her arms around her, hugging back.

“Welcome back, third maiden…”

“Houraisan…’’ the phoenix hissed to her rival, it was another battle. Just one of the thousands these immortal rivals had.

“Show me what you’ve got!’’ the immortal princess chuckled, unfazed by the tone of her rival.

A spell card was thrown up in the air, Honest Man’s Death. An endless maze of light blue and red bullets swarmed around the other immortal, soon followed by a deadly laser.

The Princess swiftly dodged the bullets, not seeming troubled by this barrage of bullets ruthlessly trying to kill her.

“This spell card again? It’s getting old…’’ the lunarian princess sighed, she was bored of fighting her rival. It was always the same. Same spell cards. Same fight. It rarely changed.

“You want something else then?’’ the phoenix questioned the princess while smirking. She thought she should try something new.

“Let this whole world burn to nothing!’’ she called out. Shortly after, huge flames swiftly rose around her everywhere. Left, right, everywhere.

“Something new I see! Show me it!’’

“This will be the last thing you see before you die!’’ the phoenix called while bursting with laughter. Her flames were rapidly spreading across the forest, and making their way to the target.

Although the princess was confident, her smile was soon wiped straight off her face, as the flames slowly closed in. However, they didn’t just close in on her, but on her home of Eientei too.

“Mokou!’’ this is going too far!’’ She cried nervously, yet she spotted her rival had no guilt. She just chuckled hysterically.

Meanwhile, in Eientei, Eirin was drinking a cup of green tea, when she realized the flames slowly homing in to their home.

“Udongein! Inaba! Quickly come here now!’’ The lunarian doctor called urgently. The two rabbits rapidly arrived to see what the lunarian needed them for.

“We need to put this fire out! Now! Get the princess either of you!’’ Eirin panicked. “Before it is too late…’’

The rabbits both nodded and hurried off. After the rabbits had bravely left Eientei to save Kaguya, Eirin wondered one thing: why are they fighting again? I really hope the princess is okay, I’m always wishing for her to be safe…

“Please stop! The flames will eventually burn Eientei and the Human Village!’’ the princess wheezed, the smoke from the flames was filling up in her lungs, it was a challenge for the princess to breathe now.

“This is YOUR fault! You wanted something new and I gave it to you!’’ the phoenix spat back. Yet a spilt second later, the phoenix remembered her rival mentioning the Human Village.

Keine! The phoenix thought nervously. What have I done? She then asked herself.

"Princess! We’re here to save you!’’ two energetic voices bellowed through the fire, the voices belonged to two rabbits, one from the moon and one from the earth.

“Thank you!’’ the princess coughed weakly before being carried away by the rabbits. They quickly dodged all the flames and rushed back to their home Eientei.

And all that was left was the phoenix surrounded by her rage and guilt…

“What have I done…’’ The phoenix questioned herself slowly with a depressed tone while scanning the bamboo forest in flames,

Could I ever fix what I have broken? Or is it too late?

The first rays of a winter morning sunlight found the gatekeeper of the Scarlet Devil Mansion facing the wrong direction. Her back turned to possible intruders, Hong Meiling was instead intently watching a lightshow from within the mansion walls. A familiar clash of red and rainbow painted the waning night sky, for the moment brighter than the rising sun itself. Meiling observed with a passive interest, as one tends to do with a frequent spectacle with no explanation. This seemed to happen like clockwork, she thought to herself, thoughts drifting between possible reasons for such common quarrel.


Her thoughts were rather rudely interrupted by a hearty thud. About two inches to the left of her head, a knife had embedded itself cleanly in the solid stone wall. Before Meiling could react properly, the owner of the projectile spoke up.


“Honestly, what kind of gatekeeper doesn’t even know what direction to face?” the attacker said, perfectly balancing a tray in one hand, while juggling another knife in the other.


Meiling turned around, and drily replied “The kind that can handle a head maid like you, Sakuya.” She glanced at the wall, then turned back and added “Hey, you missed by a few inches today. You in a good mood?”


“I’m always in a good mood.” Sakuya said, and put away her knife. She pretended to not hear Meiling’s snort. “As such, I was thinking of giving our hard working gate guard something warm to drink.” Sakuya clucked her tongue and looked around. “It’s a shame I can’t find her…”


Meiling eyed the tray resting atop Sakuya’s hand. On it was a crude mug and an expensive-looking teacup, both steaming profusely in the morning chill. Meiling walked over to Sakuya, and reached for the mug, half expecting it to disappear before she could get to it. Nothing happened, though, as Sakuya seemed to be slightly distracted by the same spectacle that encapsulated Meiling before. Mug in hand, Meiling stepped to the side of Sakuya and faced the action.


A few moments of observation and perturbed fascination passed, with Meiling taking brief sips of her coffee. Then, perhaps remembering what she was thinking about earlier, Meiling broke the silence.


“How can two sisters be such opposites of each other?” Meiling queried, waving her mug at the accused. Remilia and Flandre Scarlet had been fighting all morning, with an intensity that would impress the most ambitious of fireworks displays. “I was facing the wall because it felt as if the greater danger was from the inside…”


Sakuya pondered this, taking sips of her tea. “It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it?” she said, a little amused at the question.


“They seem to be at the throats of one another whenever I glance their way.” Meiling continued, undeterred by Sakuya’s comment. “Their only similarities seem to be that they’re vampiric and short!”


Sakuya stifled a laugh, and whacked Meiling in the head. “Watch your mouth, you do work for her, you know.” Meiling kept her mouth in her mug while Sakuya continued. “As I said, it certainly seems that way. They do genuinely love each other, though, and have more in common than you would think.”


Meiling thought for a moment, shielded her eyes from an explosion, and then turned to Sakuya with a blank look. “I don’t follow”.


Sakuya gave a small smile, and faced back towards the mansion, placing her tray on a nearby rock Meiling often uses as a chair. “Well, I won’t bore you with the details, but you can’t deny that they always make up in the end, right?”
Sakuya then turned to Meiling and said “They must have some kind of common ground, don’t you think?”


Meiling took another sip and gave it some thought. “Well, I suppose the mansion isn’t exploding ALL the time, so they must get along in the off period. I guess everyone has their similarities and differences.”


Sakuya might have appreciated this unusual insight from Meiling, had she not been rather rudely interrupted by a hearty thud. A red spear had flown passed Sakuya’s head, and embedded itself in the ground behind her. Meiling made a mental note that it missed about two inches to the left.


“Sakuya! It’s daylight out, so why haven’t you made breakfast yet? Hurry up!” A commanding tone shouted from high above. Remilia Scarlet wavered in the air for a few seconds before speedily flying inside, away from the danger of the rising sun.


“Ah, terribly sorry!” Sakuya yelled, and hastily composed herself. “In just a moment!”


Meiling couldn’t help but grin and jut in “Honestly, what kind of head maid-“


“Shut it, Meiling” and in that instant, Sakuya disappeared.

Meiling laughed, and then returned to her post. The interesting part of her day was over. All that awaited her now was an empty pathway and a bunch of trees.


“Well, I suppose it’s better than being a maid.” Meiling said quietly to herself, wary that Sakuya had unusually good hearing. She walked over to her sitting rock, and noticed that Sakuya had, oddly, left the tray in her haste. Meiling walked over and picked up the teacup, examining the liquid inside. She put down her mug and took a sip.


“Huh.” She chuckled to herself, and sat down on the rock. “Not bad.”

Suwako and Kanako were competing against each other for years, but one day, they decided that one of their strongest shrine maidens, Kochiya Sanae, to choose which one is the better god: "The Avatar of Mountains and Lakes" or "The Highest of Native Gods". Of course, she couldn't choose between her beloved gods. She was constantly bugged by both of them to choose already. She's trying to find the best sollution.

After a while, she had enough of the two stubborn gods, leaving the shrine and going to search for help. She started by seeking advice from the tengu who runs around shooting photos of everything that moves. She knew that she was outside of Moriya Shrine nearby, hiding in a bush, shooting photos of her.

"I've found some great news that I want to share with someone competent enough to hear them!" The shrine maiden yelled.

The tengu quickly jumped out of her hidey hole: "Ayayayaya. Care to tell me what are these great news you're talking about?"

"I lied to you. Nothing much changed. But again, I have some problems with my gods and I'm seeking your help." she asked the tengu politely.

"Now,now. why should I help you? I will gladly help you if you would give me some nice... poses" she asked in a persuasive voice."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll give you some poses if you prove useful. Alright, here's the story..." The shrine maiden told about the whole problem to the tengu. She understood it, but after hearing those words, her face looked rather pale.

"This is not good. This has happened once before a long time ago. Two gods competing against each other, they asked one of their followers to choose who's better. The follower couldn't choose between them and they started fighting seriously. They nearly destroyed the whole Gensokyo by their menacing power. The only way to stop them was leaving the gods to exterminate each other. That was a rather tragic way to end the war, everyone has suffered, even me. But I'm okay now and that happened a very long time ago. Gensokyo has changed. It now has more powerful residents like that little vampire or the ghost princess, but they are bested by that powerful miko. I'm pretty sure they all will take actions if something bad happens."

Sanae has carefully listened to each word the tengu said. "So what do we do now? I won't let them destroy each other just like last time you said it happened!" She asked in a outrageous voice.

"No. Of course not! This is my plan: I'm going to spy over them from time-to-time and you will go speak with anyone that can help us if the battle is really going to start! By the way, you can't really persuade these two when they're arguing, they won't listen to anyone else. So the only way to stop them is to wait for these two to come to terms with each other and if they start fighting, we should stop them."

"Alright. I'll seek some help" And then she quickly left.


Sanae, like everyone else, will know who to ask when it comes to incidents, the Hakurei Shrine Maiden. She rapidly went to the Hakurei shrine only to find out that she's not home. However, she found her good friend, the magician thief, Marisa Kirisame.

"Hey there! Umm... Where is Reimu?" she asked calmly.

"Hello, so you are seeking Reimu, eh? Aparently, she's busy dealing with those fairies that keeps pestering her. But what business do you have with her?"

"I want to tell her about a incident that is yet to come and I want her to help me prevent it, but you also seem capable of helping, so would you help me, please?" She asked the magician politely.

"I'm more than capable to do it! I'm gonna be the who will resolve it!" she answered her question with a confident smile. "So, what's the problem?"

"Well..." Sanae told everything about the problem. Marisa looked convinced enough to directly go to the Moriya shrine."

"What are you waiting for? Let's go kick some ass!" Marisa eagerly telled her. She quickly grabbed Sanae's arm and rushed towards the shrine. Sanae couldn't stop her.

"No, wait! You can't do that!" Suddenly, an unusual, but familiar gap has apearred in front of their eyes. It was the gap youkai, Yukari Yakumo.

"Stop right there, girls! Do you realise what are you doing? I heard everything about this. I pretty much followed you everywhere you went today, Sanae."

"Ew, a stalker! Marisa, let's exterminate her!

"Alrighty, then! Master..." But her spell cast has been interrupted by another familiar voice coming from the gap.

"No, wait! She was just trying to help you!" Her beloved shikigami also came out of the gap. "She already has a plan, so leave everything to her!"

"Indeed, Ran. I have a plan. I will go to those two gods right now, so please, Sanae, sit down and relax." Then, the youkai quickly left through another gap.


Sanae being confused about what really happened has quickly interrogated the shikigami.

"Why did she got involved? What is her plan? How dares she follow me? How can I relax when my gods are fighting each other again?"

"Please relax. I know it's your duty to solve this, but in order to finish with this quickly and peacefully, we need Yukari's help. Let's go back to the Hakurei shrine for now."

"Alright. Let's go back." Those three went back. "I'll go make some tea" Ran's hospitality was welcomed by those two.

"Thanks! But I'll rather drink coffee instead, da ze!" Ran agreed to her request.

Sanae has been lost in her mind for a while about all sorts of thoughts. She starts getting depressed.

"I should've been the one to resolve this incident. I'm useless. Even if I'm trying my best to resolve incidents, I haven't resolved any of them! I wanted at least once to be the hero of the story. I couldn't bring myself to do it now..."

"This time it was inevitably. This is a serious matter. Even though they asked your help in the beginning, they couldn't really rely on you, but something feels wrong... My instincts tell me that they ignored you on purpose when you left." The fox youkai tried her best to calm Sanae, but she's not that good at calming people.

"Also, what you said is wrong, Sanae! You're not useless! I hate so say it, but Reimu is much stronger than us, but we shouldn't be sad about it! We are as important as Reimu! Reimu couldn't resolve anything if we two wasn't with her. This time, she doesn't even know about this problem!"

"You are a great help to Yukari! She couldn't have done anything without you! I'm pretty sure she will resolve this incident without any problems, just because of you."

Marisa and Ran tried her best to comfort her. Sanae acknowledged the words and brought a happy smile.

"You are probably right. Thank you, looks like my efforts weren't for nothing after all!"



Ran has finally prepared the coffee and tea and served them. They start drinking while Sanae is telling funny stories about the things that the two gods have argued for. They had a good time together. Suddenly, a gap apearred on the wall of the shrine. Yukari came back, but she wasn't alone. The two gods also came from the gap.

"Suwako-sama! Kanako-sama! Are you alright? What happened? " Sanae looked worried at them, thinking that something bad happened."

"Don't worry, Sanae. Those two weren't even arguing, I found them drinking sake and playing games together. I wasted my time for something like this..." Yukari didn't look that happy with the results.

"Let me explain..." Kanako caught Sanae's attention, " It's true. We truly were arguing in the beginning. But we both realised that it is useless to argue, so we pretty much have faked that we were arguing, just for the sake of teasing you and having some fun. I didn't know that it will turn this bad. You left the shrine very frustrated, that made us realise that we have gone too far. I even caught a spy. She's not that good in hiding herself."

Sanae has got confused and frustrated at the same time. "How did you come to terms? I thought you hate each other!"

Suwako answered her question happily: " Oh, I gave her a nice little gift, a pretty bouquet of Red Roses and then she brought me a cute little frog! How could I hate her if she does nice things like this?"


Sanae has gotten very angry and started nagging the gods: " You faked that you were arguing just for teasing me? Sometimes, I can't understand you at all! What was the purpose of it? Do you think that will teach me a lesson or something? Of course not, because I have done nothing wrong! I even suffered a little bit... I was very worried about you!". She kept nagging her gods for all the things that they have done recently. Marisa, Ran and Yukari awkwardly watch the scene." Yukari broke the silence.

"These two faked all of this to prepare Sanae if something really serious happens. It was just a test. They actually are nice people, but very different." She impolitely stole the drinks on the table and starts sipping the coffee: "Just like this coffee." and after that she sipped the other drink: "And this tea... Yuck, it tastes awful when you drink both at once! Can't I be dramatic for once without something bad happening to me?"


"What is happening here?" Suddenly a voice echoed from the entrance of the shrine, the Hakurei shrine maiden came back and starts yelling at her invaders. "Everyone! Get out! Right now!"

Of course, they all hurried to leave, because nobody can argue with Reimu when she's angry. She stopped Marisa and started questioning her what was happening. After that, she stared with a cold mean look at Sanae, that told her to never go into the shrine again. After shooing everyone, she quickly went to sleep, because she was very tired. Yukari also went home and took a nap, Ran is searching for her beloved Shikigami, Marisa went to the store to buy more coffee and Sanae and her gods left to the Moriya Shrine.


Arriving inside the shrine, Sanae was startled of what she has seen, a tengu in chains. The spy that was supossed to help her, but she was captured. Sanae sighed, but left her there for a while. "Consider this as your punishment for failing me.See you later!" After that, they went back to their card game and had a ton of fun.

"It's good to be back, now time to enjoy my beloved coffee and tea..."

-- August 17, 04:03 PM --
-- Ward 14, 5F --
-- Yagokoro Hospital --

Ha, it's about time you two showed up. C'mon, have a seat, I'm not goin anywhere.

Right, I'm sure you two already know the deal, so let's start right off. Name's Kazami Yuuka, I'm a florist -- shop's right down that window to the left. This story might get a little long-winded, as you people already know me, so pull up your seats and make some tea or somethin. I brought some over, and it'd be nice to get something warm with all that rain pourin out there. Could you get me that coffee, Komachi sweetie? Thanks. Yeah, just make it black.

Anyway, let's start all the way at about... uh, Thursday, was it? Yeah, Ibuki got her batch of good sake out, first Thursday of the month. don't you damn well think I don't know you don't keep one of her bottles under that desk, Komachi! Buh, what? Oh, shut your trap, Eiki, I know what you got under yours too.

All right, so there I was, out on a stroll, like I always do; gotta stretch these legs out before they give, y'know? Moriya Elementary, right down the walkway. Pass 'em by every day, watching those kids get out all laughin and kickin and whatever it is those kids do. I'd had to meet someone back at the shop, though, and I was kept so damn busy, so I'd gotten out on my walk way, way later than I'd usually do it. About like, ten minutes to six or something.

"Hey, cross-eyes! Is this your stupid umbrella?" I heard someone say, with this weird haughty foreigner-kinda accent. I dunno. Anyhow, that was one of them Hinanawi kids. Tenshi, I think. Y'know, her parents're those big business Skycorp folks with blazin red eyes, looking like the devil had kids? Swear to God, you'd think they don't even think we're even people. Their kid acted like a hellbeast, too, wailin down on this poor girl, kickin her down on the pavement like some kinda mongrel-dog pooped on those squeaky clean shoes of hers. Makes me shudder just rememberin it.

"Looks like a freak, just like you!" she'd laughed. Bunch of other kids laughin along with her, probably some kinda posse. And then, snap! Clear as day, I'd heard. Poor girl's umbrella got snapped clean in half. I mean, sure, it was that garish-lookin purple, but honestly, that thing looked about as beat up as Komachi's busted old jalopy boat. It's a miracle that thing still sails, I swear.

Er, where was I? Ah, right. So right then, I was already about the corner. Tried to be a little quieter, get a little more look-see, but you know those rascal kids, they got better ears than I do. Went packin off, and I just saw lil' Kogasa, caked all over with dirt and such, and that dang umbrella -- well, a couple pieces of it, anyway. So I went to see, asked her if she was still kickin it. Must've gotten something on my face that day, though, she took one look at me and bawled her eyes out! Was a good thing there wasn't nobody around, took me like a good bit of time to calm her down. Started to rain about when I managed to, thank God. I didn't want her out there a second more than I could help it.

So I'd brought her right on home just as it started stormin, and sure as spruce wasn't the cutest thing I'd ever seen, swaddled up like a hot potato out of a fire. She looked so bright and lively, hoppin around the shop in a blanket I'd gave her, peepin at all of the flowers. Picked up her umbrella, too; she'd held on to that broken hunk of useless like her damn life counted on it. And I... I don't know, I've been pretty much dead inside for the past century or whatnot, ever since Makai, y'know? But that girl... that girl was somethin else.

So I'd offered to fix her umbrella for her; told her she could come over any time she wanted to pick it up later. And lemme tell you, that girl's eyes went about as round as saucers. Freakiest thing of my life, watching that blue and red stare at me like a couple of fuckin marbles. Then she started cryin waterfalls again! Mercy, what a kid.

Anyhow, I'd sent her off after, and the next day she picked it up after I'd slapped on some wood glue on it. Thought that'd be the last I'd see of her, but every day after that for like a week or so, she came, and she came runnin. Helped me around the shop, too, and then kept me company with my coffee while she went through my books. Told me all sortsa stories about her family, and I told her mine.

She'd had a tough life; y'know her actual parents went and ditched her? Only thing they left her was that rotten old umbrella 'cause it was rainin when they left her in a basket or something at the temple. Those Buddhist folk took her in, bless their hearts. Still remember the head priest goin nuts over the kid's eyes, too; said she was some kind of good omen or somethin.

And lemme tell you, I ain't never seen nobody happier to be around me than that ball of sunshine. Those few days, not even my sunflowers lifted a candle to that girl. Sniff. Oh, what? Nah, I just got dirt in my eye. Get off my case, you old fart. Huh... but yeah, they say good things gotta come to an end. About a week or so in, she stopped comin. Whaddaya know, I found some smashed up pots that day, too. I ain't dumb, pots don't knock themselves over. At least, mine don't; no fall wind's gonna do anythin to my pots.

Now, y'know, I might not have been dumb, but I was stubborn, so I figured I'd try to go to the school early the next day, maybe catch her out. And I did see her, but as soon as she saw me she bolted right for the gate, like I was some kinda banshee or somethin. Took me a couple days before I could catch her proper.

At the time, the lil' Tenshi snot was with her group nearby, cornerin poor Kogasa off some wall. I'd managed to break her off the lot, but those kids were a bunch of savages. She was already sportin some bruise off her cheek when I got there. I was just about to ask her what'd happened when some kid across the lot yelled somethin out. He'd gotten ahold of that purple umbrella, and then tossed it out on the street.

And then umbrella girl Kogasa just went and snapped. She shrieked her throat out and flew out to the street. Tryna save her thing. And then... and then... ugh, sob. A-And then, she just... got sent flyin-- uuuh-- by that car-- I don't know how fast that thing was goin, but-- uuuh, ugh...

Sniff... A-And then... I-I don't know, I just... ran out to get her, but-- ugh... But then I just... I just heard laughin. Honest-to-God laughin, right from the belly of a devil. None of the other kids made a sound, but she-- sob-- she just straight up laughed it up like it wasn't even a fuckin deal! Like I don't think she even thought it was any different from killin some mosquito or somethin. U-Uugh...

Sniff.

Swear to God, Eiki, I ain't seen more red in my eyes than that day, and I don't regret a single fuckin thing. I don't care what the hell those Skycorp black suits do to me, I swear I heard the devil laughin that day. I can't even remember half of what I did to that-- that hellspawn, but-- uuh... hic.

Sniff.

Yeah, I don't think I got anything else to say. I've been on the run long enough; I just wanted to see how she was doin one last time. Heh, and I was even dreamin about adoptin her a couple weeks ago. Guess that ain't happenin. Sniff.

Alright, let's go.

... Y'know, she's so peaceful-lookin when she's asleep. Hope she sleeps better soon.

G'night, Kogasa.