What does fun mean to you?

Basically, big challenges are fun because I can feel like once I beat them, I'll have accomplished something. I may not have accomplished something new that no one else hasn't already done, but that's okay, because it would be silly to expect to be the best in the world, even at something I'm really good at. And it's no fun to do something that doesn't take any thought at all.

Writing in terms of doing the actual writing, picking out the words to use and the order to put them in and such, that can be a little boring at times. It's thinking up the stories themselves that's fun, seeing everything fit together and connect like a finished puzzle, seeing the characters gradually come to life, that really makes it fun for me.

The rest of your specific examples really aren't interesting to me either, can't help you there. I guess mostly what is fun to me is just being able to be completely engaged in something, and difficulty helps with that.

So what happens when I tell you how I have fun? You'll get jealous, for one, and you'll try and pretend you do it too. Both of those things are detrimental, jealousy being obvious but the latter will just make you feel ungenuine and make you fall into a bigger pit of despair.

This is a cycle, too. It's not the first, nor the second time you've made a thread like this (or asked us something in Skype to a similar effect). This cycle also includes making a stupid rant, frustrating yourself over various things etc. etc.

There's two paths out of this if you currently truly see yourself as unable to have fun (which I doubt is true - your selective memory is astounding). Break the cycle or accept you'll never be able to have fun like other people and just do things for work.

I, and others do want you to get better, but that doesn't translate into a bottomless pit of listening to your rants and giving you faux satisfaction. I'm bored. So are you. Change the record, please.